


Two Ships Crash in the Night

by Irollforinitiative



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M, Post Serenity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irollforinitiative/pseuds/Irollforinitiative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know Simon and Kaylee can't have a happily ever after THAT easily. What happens after Simon ruins the kiss at the end of Serenity. Not my best work but it's cute. Moved from FFDN</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Ships

Simon guided Kaylee down onto the floor of the ship. Ever the gentleman, he positioned himself next to her on the floor as opposed to over her. Kaylee had to work to not smile about the whole situation. After far too long pining after one another, an impassioned encounter on the grated floor of Serenity’s lower deck was not what Kaylee had hoped for. However, this thought was banished from her mind when his hand came to her hip. His fingers gently grazed the skin where her shirt did not quite meet her coveralls, teasing the nerves there. Kaylee had to pull away from Simon’s lips and gasp for air at the touch. Simon continued to focus his attentions on Kaylee’s neck and jaw. Looking up, intent on thanking any gods that she had ever head of, Kaylee spotted River. Pulling back from Simon slightly at the shock of seeing the girl in the ceiling she exclaimed, “River!”. 

“Oh God, River!” Simon exclaimed, forcibly shoving Kaylee back and leaping up. It had taken him a second to pull himself from out of Kaylee’s neck to see her, but once he had seen his sister’s visage peering down at him from the hole in the ceiling, his reaction was a violent one. He crossed his arms across his chest in discomfort, looking up. “River, you can’t do that. You can’t just...spy on people like that.”

“I’m sorry Simon,” River began, “I, I wanted to see you happy. “

Simon looked down, ashamed at his anger towards his sister. She was better, and so he kept forgetting she was still different. She would never gain control over the emotional part of her brain again, it was too damaged. “It’s alright River. Just go help the Captain and try to remember that people don’t like being watched.” River disappeared. No noise was made as she left the same way she came, through the ceiling. Looking around for his discarded shirt, Simon started to speak to Kaylee. 

“I’m…I’m sorry about that. “

“Oh, it’s River. You two’ve been on this boat long enough for me to expect her to be wiggledy.” Kaylee smiled as she moved closer to Simon again. He stepped back from her. 

“No, I mean yes, I’m sorry about River. But no, I’m sorry about, well, about, how I just treated you.” Kaylee looked at him as though he had grown a new nose. “I just mean that, well, I just…I just though I would court you or…or behave in a manner better fitting my propriety.” 

“Your…propriety?”

“Yes…I just mean that—”

“That you’re too good to make out with a mechanic on the floor of a ship?”

“Yes. I mean…no. Not that its you! Its just—”

“You know? Fine.” Kaylee turned to leave the room. As she left she shouted, “just let me know when you figure out what it “just is”!” Kaylee made it out of the room just in time for him to not see or hear her tears. After all this time she thought it was over. She thought that Simon was done tripping over his words and was finally going to be able to act like he cared about her. After what he said when they were being attacked and all. 

Simon started to follow Kaylee, but remember he was still without shirt. Fetching it he pulled it back on. Silently he cursed that he ever chose to remove the garment. It wasn’t that he was hot. No, the shirt had just gotten in the way while he was trying to reattach the paneling in the ceiling. If he hadn’t worn such a binding shirt that day, or if he had just left it on, maybe, maybe he wouldn’t have made such a …boob…of himself. Simon sat down and rubbed his hands over his face. Oh, he cared about Kaylee. He even dared to say that he loved her, but having never been in love before he wasn’t sure if he was ready to use the word yet. Why was it such an issue that he wanted to treat her better. He was raised to believe that a lady should be courted and spoiled by the man whose eye she has caught. All he wanted to do was spoil Kaylee, let her know how much she meant to him. With another sigh he stood back up and started back on his work, dejected.


	2. Return of the Space Monkies

Mal came down from the bridge of Serenity when he heard a crash in the engine room.

"Kaylee? Are the space monekys back?" He yelled as he stalked into the room, slightly apprehensive at what he could find. He heard about Simon's proclamation during the battle about "as to say sex" with Kaylee and had been working hard to give the two of them some space, hoping they would find the time. Not that he wanted it for them. He just wanted a few days of not having to hear the Doc's whining and having to comfort Kaylee when he cocked everything up again. Rounding the corner and looking into the engine room he saw Kaylee bent over the engine tinkering with something. At first glance it seemed like everything was normal, but as he looked he saw the ferocity with which she gripped the tools and the streaks of moisture on the greasy engine. She was crying.

"Hey, hey, little Kaylee. What's wrong?"

"Nothin' Cap'n. Just…Simon." She sniffed and wiped her nose on a greasy wrist. Mal put his arm around his engineer's shoulder and rubbed it affectionately.

"You want me to shoot him?"

"Captain!"

"Not kill him! I'm thinkin' in the leg. Bleeds a lot and he can stitch himself up right. Can't let Jayne do it, though. He'll aim for the chest and say he missed." Kaylee smiled. Mal's humor had won her over.

"Not just yet. We'll give him one last chance. He gets all stuffy and proper again and I just might let'cha."

Mal laughed and continued to talk to Kaylee about the engine and what they needed to do to make Serenity space-worthy. They had already gone over the checklist, but Mal didn't want to leave Kaylee alone just yet. He knew she was an adult and she had proved herself capable of taking care of herself more than once, but he couldn't help it. Every time he looked at Kaylee he saw an innocent little girl in need of protection. Long ago he had taken on the role of her protector, her big brother. He often suspected that the reason he never took to Simon was because he continued to offend his little Kaylee.

Over in the cargo hold Simon appeared from below. He walked over to Zoe, who was riveting the paneling back on the wall. Dropping the tools, he startled her into attention.

"Finished down below." He smiled his awkward and innocent smile at her.

"Good," Zoe smiled back, the expression never reaching her eyes which were perpetually sad, "I appreciate it. Captain's too busy in the bridge and Jayne is outside scraping red paint, so you're the only one tall enough to take care of that." Simon heard the twinge in her voice. Usually Wash would have taken care of the task. However, the Captain was in the bridge replacing the pilot's chair and cleaning the dash and floor. Zoe had refused to go in there until it was restored. She couldn't face the hole in the chair, or the blood on the dash. Simon touched her arm and smiled again.

"Anything else I can do?" Zoe smiled a bit more wholeheartedly at Simon's caring.

"Well, I suppose you could go help Jayne now. Just make sure he doesn't shove you off the ship." Simon laughed at her joke, the first one she had made in the two days since they had fought the Reavers, healed from their wounds, and begun work on the ship. Simon headed outside and up to find Jayne.

After the battle with the Reavers the Alliance doctors had patched them up so everyone had healed within a day or so. Simon couldn't help but be jealous. They had the tools and materials that he lacked. Because of this they made him look like a country doc instead of the well trained Alliance physician he is…was…before River. Simon shook his head. He couldn't dwell on the past. That was what had tripped him up with Kaylee and everyone else before. He needed to move on, and embrace his new life on Serenity.

"You gonna stand there all day like a gorram sheep or are you gonna help out like the rest of us?" Jayne's gruffness broke through Simon's introspection.


	3. Nothing Like a Good Shower

By the time the crew sat down for dinner Kaylee had gotten over being upset and Simon had resigned himself to his usual awkward silence. The dinner was a quiet one. No one was used to having to talk much as Wash or Shepherd Book usually ended up starting all of their conversations. Inara still wasn't eating with the crew, even though she hadn't mentioned wanting to leave again and had seemed to move into her shuttle again. They were all a mess. Kaylee look across the table to Simon. He sat next to River, trying to convince her that the protein they were eating was actually good and tasted like chicken. River showed her permanent brain damage by flipping her plate and standing up. Before she stormed out of the room she stared at Kaylee and whispered, "He doesn't understand why it hurts her, he never has."

"I thought she was…you know…sane again." The Captain said once Simon and River had left.

"Suppose she'll never be the same again." Kaylee sighed.

"Ruttin Alliance" Jayne grumbled as he grabbed Simon's plate and moved the food to his own. Everyone stopped eating and looked up when Zoe spoke, the first time that night.

"She's still a person. We gotta help look after her. Doc can't take care of her alone even though he thinks he can. She's family now. Our family." Zoe looked up from her food and stared at the captain. He nodded, agreeing with her. Kaylee suddenly lost her appetite. Standing up she cleaned up her plate and headed down to her bunk.

The room was so uniquely hers. After the crash she had needed to clean and restore it, but now, climbing down the ladder, it was home again. In the corner he fluffy pink dress still hung. Kaylee didn't bother to change clothes. Instead she just collapsed on the bed and stared at the dress. Would Simon like her if she belonged in a dress like that? No, she couldn't think like that. If Simon didn't like her as she was then he couldn't like her. She was pretty enough. Wash had said so, sure he was just being nice but still. Wash. Kaylee started crying again. Simon seemed to be the only one who could comfort her. For a few days there he acted like a real, whole, person. He had held her when she cried and told her it was okay. Expect now he wasn't there.

Angry now, Kaylee stood up and started to pace in her little bunk. No. He can't be let to make her feel like that. She was the pretty girl. He was the silly boy. She was supposed to be making him suffer. Slamming her fist into the wall she ran up the ladder and stalked to Inara's shuttle. When she knocked Inara told her to come in. It was Inara's shuttle again. The curtains and cushions had been moved back in and it smelled like her perfume again.

"So you're moving back" Kaylee asked to the empty shuttle, looking for Inara. Inara came out from the makeshift closet, smiling.

"For now, it looks like yes." Inara smiled and hugged the young mechanic.

"Hey 'Nara, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure what?"

"Could you make me…pretty?" Inara smiled and laughed softly, putting her arm around Kaylee's shoulders and leading her to the couch.

"Sweetie, you are pretty. Why are you asking this? Is it Simon?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know I'm pretty and all, but he doesn't seem to see me. He just…looks past me. I just want him to look and stop wastin' time!" Inara laughed fully, her black hair tumbling around her face as she leaned forward.

"Alright little Kaylee, let's make you clean first." Inara smiled and led Kaylee over to the shower. "Get in, and don't come out until you're clean".

Kaylee used the shower, filled with real water thanks to their current location on a water covered planet. It was warm and soothing. Kayle looked down to realize, in horror, that the water coming off of her was so dark a brown it looked black. After a full half hour of scrubbing with flowery soaps Kaylee walked out of the bathroom, her hair blonde now instead of brown. Inara sat down and began to use her tools to dry Kaylee's hair and smooth it.

Two hours later Kaylee stood in front of a mirror, hardly recognizing herself. She had forgotten how blonde her hair got when all of the engine grease was washed out. Her skin, too, was a few shades paler. She was draped in a purple silk dress that was too short of 'Nara, but fit her just right. The little bit of makeup she wore highlighted her light hazel eyes and dark lips.

"'Nara…I…I" Kaylee stuttered, hypnotized by her reflection.

"You're welcome Kaylee. Now, go and surprise our bumbling Doctor."

"I'm not sure I can. I'm afraid if I open my mouth it'll all fall apart." Inara laughed and held Kaylee's shoulders. Just as she began to speak the ship shook and the Captain's voice came over the intercom.

"Good news! Seeing as how we've just finished our repairs and said our goodbyes to the Alliance boys, the Reavers have decided it's time for round two."


	4. Round Two

"Good news! Seeing as how we've just finished our repairs and said our goodbyes to the Alliance boys, the Reavers have decided it's time for round two. Kaylee, get to the engine, we need speed. Zoe, Jane, get up here. Doc wait around to help who needs it."

Kaylee took off to the engine room, holding up her skirt so as not to trip over it. As she rounded the corner to the engine room she heard the Captain's voice coming from the bridge.

"Kaylee, what do you need to get this boat out of here!"

"Some extra hands wouldn't hurt Cap'n!"

"Simon, get in there and help her. "

Kaylee was far to scared by the thought of Reavers to care about him being the one to help her out. He came racing into the engine room, slipping on his expensive shoes as he turned the corner. As he extricated himself from the floor Kaylee started barking out orders.

"Hold this!"

"Pull that!"

"Simon, no not that!"

"Now hand me the wrench"

About five minutes later Serenity was in full burn and then some. They had lost the Reavers but had gotten shaken up a bit in the process. The wing got damaged again and two different couplings in the engine had blown and were actually being held together manually at the moment by Simon. Kaylee sighed and leaned against the wall, pushing her smoothed hair out of her face. Simon gave a small laugh of victory and looked at her for the first time since dinner. His face fell. Kaylee was beautiful. Her hair was clean and primped, but had become a bit unruly from the recent flight from the Reavers. Her face was clean and she had makeup. The only trace of engine grease on her was a small smudge under her left eye. After a moment of staring, mouth agape, Simon found his voice.

"Uh…I uh…can I let go now?" Kaylee jumped up.

"Oh! Just a sec, lemme weld that bold into the connection. It'll hold, but not well." Kaylee smiled awkwardly, never meeting Simon's eye. After a moment of sparks the bold was in place. Kaylee stepped back and nodded, proud of her ingenuity. Simon kept staring at her. He stepped forward towards her. Kaylee looked up and tried to meet his eye, finding it hard because of her embarrassment. She had just realized how she looked. How she must look standing in the engine room, trying to be something she was not. Simon's hand came up to her face and wiped the grease out from underneath her eye.

"You uh…you…wow." Kaylee blushed.

"Yeah, 'Nara and I were just playing. It's silly"

"No!" Simon said, a little to intensely. Kaylee looked up from her shoes where she had decided to stare when Simon touched her face. Simon softened his voice, "no, I mean you look beautiful. Not that you don't always! Uh…I guess…I'm not saying this right. How can I always mess this up? What I want to say is you look beautiful and you always do." Simon realized his hand was still on Kaylee's cheek but decided not to move it. He wanted to do things right. He didn't want to mess it up again.

Kaylee stared at Simon, mouth open in surprise. Her lips kept trying to form into a word be she couldn't seem to find the one to say. For once Simon had said the right thing. He wasn't running away, he was just looking at her. He wasn't just looking, he was moving closer. Kaylee momentarily panicked. Simon was going to kiss her. Last time she had kissed him, practically jumped on him. And here he was so close. Close enough that she could taste the mint on his breath from his toothpaste. Telling herself to stop panicking, Kaylee closed her eyes and started to lean forward as well.


	5. Interrupted

Kaylee sighed as Simon's soft lips met hers. His lips were fuller than any man's she had ever been with before. That was probably because she had only ever been with tough "man's man" types. Simon was sensitive and intelligent. His hands had no calluses as they ran up her arms and into her hair. Kaylee sighed again and threaded her hands into Simon's thick, dark, hair. Suddenly Kaylee heard footsteps coming from the hall behind her.

"Sweet Jesus, I don't wanna see this." Jayne's gruff voice cut their kiss short. Kaylee was sorely disappointed as she was just starting to enjoy it. Glancing over at Simon she could see him freaking out. "If you're done with the tonsil hockey Capn says to get that there engine runnin' smooth in case them Reavers come back for seconds."

"Can do Jayne. Now clear out!" Kaylee smiled and turned back to Simon when Jayne turned and left. She refused to let an interruption ruin her moment with Simon again. When she turned around Simon was looking at his shoes, hands in his pockets. Kaylee's heart fell, he was going to leave again. "Simon?" Simon smiled and laughed nervously, never looking up from his shoes.

"Looks like it can't work huh?" Simon laughed again.

"Well, we are alone again." Kaylee desperately hoped he would take the hint and stop clamming up.

"Heh…yeah…um. Kaylee…I…I…I'm not sure what to say."

"Then don't say anything" Kaylee moved closer, only to have Simon step back.

"What about the Reavers, what if someone sees. Kaylee I— "

"What IF someone sees. I don't give a good gorram."

"But I DO."

Kaylee stared at Simon. It wasn't changing. He wasn't changing. He was the same. Kaylee turned her back on Simon and started working on the engine.

"Get out Simon" she whispered.

"Kaylee…I"

"OUT…NOW"

Simon retreated out of the engine room. Once he was a safe distance away he leaned against the wall and ran his fingers through his hair. How did she do that to him? Every time he tried to speak to her he started shaking and stuttering. He successfully insulted her every time they spoke. Simon sighed and looked at the floor. Maybe he should just write it down. Simon turned on his heel and walked into his bunk. Standing in front of the mirror over the sink Simon stared at his reflection.

"Hey Kaylee," Simon said to his reflection, "I'm sorry I always end up insulting you. All I really want to say to you is that I don't just want to kiss you, I want to be with you. I know it sounds archaic, but I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend."

"That's not Kaylee, Simon." River was standing in Simon's room. He hadn't heard her come in, not that it really mattered. She was always silent in her movements.

"I know it's not Kaylee. I was just…practicing"

"And you say I'm not right in the head." Simon smiled at his sister, she always could make him smile.

"Well what do you suggest, River?"

"Tell her how you feel. Why is that so hard?"

"I have no idea, River. I have no idea."

Simon smiled and hugged his sister to him. She smiled up at her brother and protector and held up the pack of cards she had brought. He laughed and ruffled her hair, taking the cards. The two of them proceeded to sit on his bed and play war, their favorite game.

Back in the engine room Kaylee was fuming. She heard a noise at the door and turned around, wrench in hand, ready to chase Simon away.

"What the HELL do you want?" Kaylee didn't find Simon in her engine room door, instead she found a slightly frightened looking Jayne.

"Woah there, didn't mean nothin'. I'm here for the Cap'n. He wants to know if you're done yet." Kaylee sighed and rubbed a greasy hand on her face.

"Oh. Tell 'im I'm almost done."

"Can I ask you something'?" Kaylee glared at him, but nodded. "Why you all, dolled up like Inara?"

"I wish I knew Jayne. I guess I just felt like it."

"Well its weird. You aint s'possed to be all frilly. You're Kaylee, you're covered in engine grease. That's just the way things work." Kaylee looked up into Jayne's eyes. He was serious. Kaylee smiled and looked back down at the engine.

"You wanna do me a favor, Jayne?"

"Depends"

"Just stand here and hold this lever in place while I go put my normal clothes on." Kaylee said, laughing. Jayne didn't say anything but came and took hold of the lever that she had pointed at. He was willing to stand there for an hour if it meant not having to deal with Zoe being all depressed and it got Kaylee out of the gorram fluffy shit she was in. After only a few minutes Kaylee returned in her coveralls with the teddy bear over the knee. Her hair was pulled into two buns on top of her head and the engine grease that had been on her hands earlier had accidentally gotten smeared across her cheek and neck. Jayne smiled a little at her.

"See, now there's the Kaylee I know."

"Thanks Jayne." Kaylee smiled at him and got to work on the engine again. Jayne turned to leave the engine room, but paused at the door.

"Ya know Kaylee, if the Doc don't like you like this, then maybe he don't like who you really are." Before Kaylee could turn around to look at Jayne and try to think up a response, he had trudged off back to where everyone else was, wherever that was. Had, had Jayne just been nice to her. Kaylee stopped for a second and thought back to what River had said at dinner, "He doesn't understand why it hurts her, he never has." She supposed it was true about everyone Simon dealt with. He was far too dense when dealing with River. First he treated her like a broken doll, and now he treated her like she was just the same as before. It was the same with Kaylee. First he ignored her, but once he stopped ignoring her he was always too busy insulting her to get a word in elsewise. Kaylee started crying again, frustration overtaking her.

Why did Simon have to do that? Why was he so dense? Why couldn't he be more like Jayne? Kaylee dropped her wrench in shock. Jayne? Had she just thought something good about Jayne? Kaylee bent over and picked the wrench back up and finished tightening down the loose bits on the engine. Kaylee continued to tinker for the next two hours. By the time she had finished her work all thoughts of men were gone. There was nothing like engines to keep a girl happy. She smiled at the hum that Serenity was making. It was the way she was supposed to sound, but hadn't sounded in a long time.

Kaylee turned and left the engine room to head down to her bunk, ready for some sleep after a long day.


	6. That Awkward Moment When

At breakfast Kaylee was conspicuously absent. Simon kept his eyes on his plate. It was his fault that she wasn't there. She was probably vexed at him for the way he had treated her. Last night, his resolve sound, he had composed a letter to her, detailing the things his mouth usually failed to express. She deserved to know how he felt. She deserved to know that she was beautiful to him, and no amount of engine grease could change that. In fact, she was most his Kaylee when she was grubby and smiling after completing a seemingly impossible task. Simon smiled into his egg shaped protein. As he stared the Captain began his daily speech.

"Well, looks like the Reavers don't want nothing to do with us. Can't say I mind. Word is that the transmission is spreading, but not fast enough. I don't know 'bout you folk, but I've fought in one rebellion and started a second one, and I'm fixin' to keep my nose out of politics for a while." Mal spoke evenly and nearly devoid of emotion as he surveyed his crew. He schooled the emotion out of his voice so that they could better feel like they could express theirs. It was a trick he picked up in the war. As usual, Zoe was the first to speak.

"I've lost friends and a husband to war. I don't want to loose the closest thing I have to family now. I'm with you." Zoe looked around at the crew as well, her eyes still harder than they used to be.

"Well…you all know I don't like a fair fight. Much prefer shootin' a man in the back to the front. War's got rules…but scoundrelin' ain't got none." Jayne's honesty made Mal smile a little. Count on Jayne to make the peaceful path look the nefarious one. Even Simon smiled a little, Jayne's rugged outlook had begun to grow on him it seemed.

"Well then…I suppose…you will be needing someone to sew you up after your 'soundrelin'." Simon couldn't help but smile at Jayne. For once River said nothing, but instead placed her hand on her brother's arm and nodded. Suddenly all eyes were on Inara. All eyes save for Mal. He didn't dare look for fear of scaring her off. With a sigh she threw her napkin down and glared at the crew.

"Well I suppose someone needs to actually make money around here." With that everyone clapped one another on the back or embraced. They were, as always, still a crew and the closest thing to family that any of them had.

"Wait," said Mal, all of a sudden," little Kaylee. She ain't here. Silly thing slept in. Someone's gotta get her vote." No one moved. Kaylee's morning anger was infamous and no one wanted to be at the receiving end. After a moment River spoke up.

"Since you're all afraid of a little girl, I guess another little girl will go." With that River silently disappeared down the hall. When she got to Kaylee's bunk she didn't knock but just opened the hatch and climbed down. Kaylee was still in yesterday's clothes, asleep on her bed. River touched her arm as she bent down, her face inches from Kaylee's.

"Kaylee it's time to join in the celebration of disreputable pursuits." Kaylee woke with a start but didn't react with anger, River's face and words too much of a surprise for her.

"Wait…what?"

"The crew. They have made a verbal contract to continue their former ways. I can only assume that you will want to be there for the camaraderie as well as to give pledge to keep the ship running smoothly."

"O…okay River. Lemme just change my shirt."

"I'll wait." And she did. River continued to stare at Kaylee as she stood and stripped her shirt, replacing it with a different one. Yesterday's was no cleaner than the one she put on, but she knew Jayne would tease her for wearing the same thing twice. When she climbed up to the mess hall everyone greeted her with smiles and hugs, even Zoe.

"What's goin' on? I guess I turned off my alarm and went back to sleep." Mal put an arm around Kaylee's shoulders and explained the events as only he could.

"We're gonna' keep piratin'. The ruttin' rebellion can do as it will. We're gonna keep on doing honest, sub-legal, work."

"Sounds good to me Cap'n you can count me in."

"Then we have a crew." Mal couldn't help but smile. His crew, his family, was still in tact. It was two short, but those living were still there, together. "Well, where to?"

"May I pick?" River was under her brother's arm, her hand raised and eyes inquisitive. Mal looked to Simon, they had been through too much just now for him to push the Doc's boundaries with his sister. Simon smiled at Mal and nodded.

"Yes you may little darlin'. You know, we need to find a purpose for you 'round here. Other than the charming tantrums and mind readin'."

"I can fly," River sounded so sure of herself. She had since they had gone to Miranda. Zoe looked away at the mention of flying. "Not that I'll be replacing Wash or even trying to be like him. But I watched him. I can do, and I can do it better than any of you. I'm a weapon, I have better reflexes." River smiled, trying to make light of her situation as well as theirs. Mal considered her for a moment before nodding.

"All right then. River you can take the helm, but only with someone watching, at least for now." River smiled and marched off towards the bridge. Mal looked at everyone and shrugged, jogging off after her. Kaylee stayed in the mess hall, getting herself some food as Jayne cleaned up from breakfast. Inara, Zoe, and Simon had all disappeared, their own work to be done.

"Dish duty today eh Jayne." Kaylee smiled warmly at the mercenary who was now struggling to carry all the dishes at once.

"Don't know. We haven't reassigned them yet. Zoe always does it. Don't wanna remind her Wash is gone."

"That's really sweet, Jayne."

"More like I don't wanna see her cry again. If I hav'ta see another woman cry this week I just might—" Jayne paused mid sentence and shook the fork he was holding, at a loss for words.

"Well I promise not to cry."

"Good, it don't suit you." Kaylee smiled and laughed softly as she picked up her own plate and brought it to him. Kissing him on the cheek sweetly she said, "Well then I promise not to cry."

With that Kaylee bounced off to the engine room, glad for life to be returning to something like normal again. Simon stood just outside the door at the other end of the mess hall, letter in hand. He had planned on giving it to Kaylee once he found out she had just overslept. She had come into the mess hall looking tired and unkempt, not red faced and weary, so he knew that she had not been up crying or being upset. However, he had walked into the mess hall right as Kaylee had kissed Jayne. KISSED him. Sure it was on the cheek but the way he smiled at her, and the way she had smiled back. Simon now stood with his back against the wall, stuffing down the anger and heartbreak that tried to bubble to the surface. He had had his chance with her, and it seems that he had missed it. Looking back at his shoes Simon set off to return the letter and begin to reorganize the med bay.

Even if Kaylee could not be his, this crew was his family and she was his friend. River was happy and had found a home. He could not let his petty emotions ruin that for the both of them.

That night Kaylee found herself in the bay of Serenity, working in the Mule. For some reason the starter was jamming. In reality it wasn't a real problem, but it kept her busy. She had been in her bunk, ready for sleep, when she had heard Zoe crying. It was too much to hear that. Too intrusive. Too painful. Too everything. So she worked. From under the transport Kaylee felt around for the spanner she was using just a second ago. Her hand was only finding air when all of a sudden she felt the handle of the spanner pressed into her palm. Sliding out from under the greasy engine, Kaylee found herself looking into the cold, grey, eyes of Jayne.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Jayne rasped out.

"Nah."

"I heard her crying too." Jayne had turned his back and was fiddling with something. Kaylee didn't say anything but just stood up and started to put her tools away. Hearing a loud bang she turned around to see what Jayne was up to. He had moved crates and created a table with two smaller boxes as chairs. Kaylee only stared at him as though he had gone mad, and when he turned back to her he said, "fancy a game of cards?"

"Sure, Jayne, why not?" Kaylee laughed, shaking her head. As she sat Jayne produced a deck of cards and started to shuffle them.

"Game is an ancient Earth favorite called 'Go Fish'."

"I've played that. My grampa taught me when I was just a little thing."

"Good, 'cause I don't wanna have to teach you." Kaylee laughed quietly and picked up her cards.

"Threes?"

"Go fish." Kaylee drew from the deck. "Jacks?"

"Go fish." Jayne drew from the deck. "Sevens? Jayne what has happened to our crew?" Jayne looked at his cards and handed Kaylee a single seven.

"I have no idea what you mean. Queens?"

"Go fish. You know. We all used to be close then it all fell apart. Tens?" Jayne sighed and handed Kaylee two cards this time.

"Well your pretty Doc and his sister showed up. Guess they changed everything. Aces?" Kaylee handed Jayne a card.

"He ain't my pretty Doc any more. Never was really." Jayne looked up.

"Really? What happened to you bein' all lathered up over him?"

"He seems interested then he just gets too proper. I'm fed up. Fours?"

"Well I never though he was the right type for you."

"Yeah and who did you think was right you?" Kaylee smiled and laughed, looking at her cards.

"Well yeah." Kaylee looked up to see Jayne handing her three cards, the fours she had asked for. "Got any Kings?"

"Are you serious? You never acted interested."

"Well I ain't interested in loving. But you said yourself you could use a good bed and I got to say so could I. Kings?" Kaylee started at Jayne, who still contemplated his cards.

"Okay." That got Jayne's attention.

"Wait, what?"

"I said okay, Jayne."

"Now Kaylee I was just jokin' with ya. Witty banter and what not." Jayne knew how protective Captain was of Kaylee and he didn't want to do something to hurt her for fear of the punishment.

"But I ain't. And you're right. I need a beddin' something fierce. Doc obviously ain't interested and you and I can get all sweaty at night and still just be crewmates in the day."

"Well…yeah. I mean I ain't never been good at relationships."

"And I ain't askin for one."

"Just some…rough and tumble. That's all right?"

"Yes." Kaylee stared at Jayne for a few more minutes before he stood up, walked around their makeshift table, and pulled her to him. His face was rough with stubble and his mouth tasted like stale alcohol and grease, but it felt good. His hands were harsh and demanding as he steered her backwards by the shoulders towards his bunk. The stumbled up the stairs and bumped into the walls. His mouth never left hers. Kaylee opened her mouth as Jayne forced his tongue in. Nothing about his kiss was sweet or romantic. Nothing about it cared for what she wanted, and that was exactly what she needed.

They separated to climb down into his bunk before Jayne pressed her up against the wall with his hips. His fingers dug into her ass as he held her steady. All of a sudden his grip lightened and he ran his hand up over the curve of her buttocks. Once he got to her back he ran it back down more firmly then pulled back from the kiss. Kaylee was gasping for air but didn't want him to stop. He looked at her for a second before cocking an eyebrow.

"Underwear?" Jayne asked, curiosity evident in his voice.

"Go fish." Before Kaylee could even smile at her own witticism Jayne was upon her again. He pushed her onto the bed and made quick work of his clothes as well as her own.

Almost two hours later Kaylee found herself underneath Jayne as they both panted for air. Her body ached with a depth and breadth that she hadn't felt in a very long time. Jayne's body was heavy and slick with sweat but she didn't want him to move. After such a time spent joined, Kaylee wasn't quite ready to be apart again. After a while the kisses had stopped and been replaced with nips and bites. Both Kaylee and Jayne had necks that were peppered with small bruises and discolorations. The sex had been rough and long. There was no sensitivity. Jayne never asked if Kaylee was enjoying herself. Although, her screams that she muffled into his shoulder were proof enough of her pleasure. Kaylee had been had, taken, owned by Jayne, and it had felt so good. When he finally moved off of her, Kaylee stood up and slipped back into her clothes. Jayne watched her, but it was with only desire in his eyes.

"I'll be back tomorrow night." She said as she went to climb the ladder out of his bunk.

"Alright. See you at breakfast." Jayne nodded to Kaylee and she nodded back. Once she was back in her bunk, content and exhausted, Kaylee slept better than she had in months.


	7. The Tables Have Turned

The next morning life continued as usual. They were headed for a border planet, hoping to find work. Jayne had nodded a good morning to her but that was all. It was identical to every other morning on the ship save for one thing. Kaylee felt fantastic. She could hardly move she was so stiff, but she was beaming. Mal seemed to be the only one to notice when he shuffled into the mess area.

"What're you so smily about little Kaylee?" Mal asked, running his hands through his hair that still stuck out from being slept on.

"Nothin' Cap'n. Just happy." Kaylee beamed as she sat down to her breakfast of protein that was reminiscent of eggs. Mal stopped and smiled at her for a few seconds.

"Now there's the Kaylee I first met. Whatever you did to bring her back, keep doin' it." Kaylee turned slightly red but covered it by laughing and looking at her plate.

"Okay Cap'n." With the laugh and the flippancy of her statement it seemed like she was being sarcastic. Kaylee bet Jayne knew she wasn't though. After breakfast Kaylee went back to the Mule to actually attempt to fix it. The cards were gone and the crates were all back in place. Jayne must have cleaned up the area earlier. Kaylee didn't mind. In fact, she wanted as little evidence of their night together to exist as possible. It wasn't that she was ashamed. It was that it wasn't a big deal and the rest of the crew would make it one. Better to hide it as well as possible. Kaylee scooted her entire body under the Mule and started tinkering. While she was there she heard footsteps. Before she could stick her head out to say hello to whoever was there she heard the owner of the footsteps start to talk.

"Mind if I come in?" It was the Captain. He was at Inara's shuttle.

"You never ask permission to come in. What's wrong?" Inara's response was sharp.

"To talk to you about what happened back at the whorehouse."

"That was an eternity ago, Mal. It's hardly relevant now."

"It's relevant to me."

"…come in."

Kaylee smiled as she stopped eavesdropping and went back to working. Good it was about time the Captain and Inara worked out their issues. Maybe they would finally stop fighting. As time wore on and Kaylee finished fixing the Mule with no sign of the Captain or Inara, Kaylee found herself smiling once more. Seemed like she and Jayne weren't the only ones on this ship with a secret to keep now. Bout damn time too.

By dinner both Mal and Inara had reappeared, both looking slightly preoccupied but happier. Neither said anything and Kaylee accepted that it wasn't her secret to tell. Instead she sat down on the floor to play games with River.

"What do you want to play tonight, River?"

"It isn't your night to cook." The younger girl had improved so much, but she still tended to stare off into space even when spoken to.

"Nope. I'm all yours."

"How about go fish?" Kaylee stared at River, hoping to see innocence in the girl's eyes. Instead she found River looking back into her face, smiling, knowing.

"N—no River. Let's play something else. How about Jacks? You love that."

"I do but you love go fish." River was smiling broadly, finding it all to be a game of embarrassing Kaylee. Kaylee did not find it amusing.

"No I don't. We're playing Jacks." Kaylee was harsh. Harsh enough to draw the attention of Simon who came over.

"Everything alright over here?" He asked, not looking at Kaylee.

"Kaylee refuses to play the game she wants to play." Simon looked down, feeling as though this somehow had a double meaning and related to him.

"River, be good. Just play whatever Kaylee says she wants to play, even if you feel something different from her."

"Thanks Simon." Kaylee said, still looking away. He only made a noncommittal noise and disappeared.

"I'm still learning to balance reading and talking." River looked at Kaylee with apologetic eyes.

"It's alright. Just…don't tell anyone else what you see in my mind alright? I like to keep some things private. Ready for Jacks?" Kaylee looked up at River. Suddenly River leaned forward and placed her hand on Kaylee's knee, her eyes clear and intense.

"Happiness is good for you, but so is medicine." With that River began to set out the Jacks for the game. Kaylee stared for a few moments more before shaking it off and starting to play the game.

Life aboard Serenity continued like normal. They found work. They did said work. They got paid. After a few weeks even Zoe started acting like her normal self, joking and ordering everyone about. Mal and Inara did their best to act normal around one another, but everyone on the crew knew that something was up. They always stared too long or disappeared to help the other with a task that really didn't require two people. Where their secrecy failed, Kaylee and Jayne's succeeded. No one seemed to know. Even if River somehow did know, she was keeping it a secret. Kaylee spent every day working in the ship like usual. Then, she would go to her bunk and take a quick nap. After this nap she snuck over to Jayne's bunk where the two would have rough, unemotional, and thoroughly satisfying sex. After the sex she went back to her bunk and slept. It seemed to be the perfect arrangement. That is, until she didn't successfully sneak back one night.

As Kaylee had emerged from Jayne's bunk, still buttoning up her coveralls, she had very nearly walked into the Captain who was returning to his bunk after a trip to Inara's shuttle to "talk".

"Kaylee? What are you doing about at this hour?" The Captain whispered.

"Nothing. What are you doing out?" Kaylee was panicked and tried to shift the focus to him.

"I was…talking…with Inara."

"Talking? Yeah like I believe that."

"It don't matter what you—you were in Jayne's bunk weren't you?"

"No…I mean. We were just talking is all." Their voices were beginning to rise.

"The hell you were! What is this?" Mal had pushed back her hair to reveal a large bite mark on her neck. Kaylee shoved his hand away.

"None of your business that's what!" Jayne and Zoe had opened the doors to their bunks so they could better hear the fight. Inara had come into the hallway so she could hear as well. Simon and River both stood at the bottom of the stairs up to the main deck. Mal and Kaylee had officially gotten loud enough that the whole ship could hear them and everyone had moved closer to listen.

"Kaylee are you? Are you fucking Jayne!"

"As much as you're fucking Inara!"

"That don't have nothin' to do with nothin'!"

"Yes it does! Sneaking around all our backs when us that care for you just want a chance to see you both happy."

"Fine then. Yes. Now how bout you answer me?"

"Yes. We ain't loving but we is beddin'. Happy?" Simon stepped back into his room. Even though the two were making peace they were still yelling. He had heard every word. Kaylee was sleeping with Jayne. Simon felt like he couldn't breathe. It was his fault. He had been such an ass to her. Such a pompous prick. It was his fault. She didn't even love Jayne. Kaylee didn't deserve just sex. She deserved to be worshiped. River put her hand on her crying brother's back. The fight had died down and Kaylee and Mal had quietly and awkwardly gone back to their bunks. Simon soon fell back asleep, his head in River's lap. River, too, found sleep once more. It wasn't long before the entire crew of Serenity was back asleep. For a moment it looked as though things were back to normal. However, they weren't. They were far from normal.

This became apparent at breakfast the next morning. Mal walked in and squarely kissed Inara before glaring at Kaylee and walking into the kitchen area to help finish cooking. No one said anything.

"Well that was awkward." Inara said, hoping to lighten the mood. Jayne laughed but stopped when Simon walked into the mess area. His eyes were deep red and he stared at the floor.

Without saying a word he sat down and stared at his hands. River came in after him and sat with Kaylee next to the stove.

"Remember what I said to you about medicine being good for you too?" Kaylee stared at River, remembering playing Jacks.

"Yeah…about happiness being good but medicine being good too."

"Yes. This is what I meant."

"How could you know?"

"Doesn't matter. It will be good though." River was speaking clearly. She wasn't in some torture induce stupor. Kaylee stared at her, confused, as she walked over to her brother and sat by him. Breakfast was silent. Zoe seemed to be the only one not in misery. Being the only one unaffected by the drama she contented herself to quiet laughter every once and a while. Obviously enjoying the horror on the faces of her crewmates. Everyone feared everyone. Simon feared looking at Kaylee. Kaylee feared looking at Simon. Jayne feared looking at the Captain. The Captain feared looking at Inara. River looked at no one; she could feel everything they were feeling anyways.

After breakfast everyone suddenly disappeared to go their separate ways. Mal and Inara found themselves alone in the cockpit. Of all the issues unearthed last night theirs was the least daunting. Kaylee fled to the engine room but soon found that Jayne had followed her.

"You do realize the whole ship heard you last night right?" Somehow Jayne acted as if he was entirely unaffected by the tension.

"How? Jayne, how can you act like this don't involve you?" Kaylee was angry.

"Cause it don't."

"How do you figure that?"

"Cap'n ain't mad at me for bedding you. Other than that my only quarrel would be with you. Seein' as how we ain't lovin on another I figure we're all right."

"Yeah…I mean— "

"You don't gotta say nothin Kaylee. You still got feelings for the Doc and him being all hurt proves he's got them for you two. It was fun but I don't want nothing to do with no feelings. So you go and patch things up with him." With that Jayne left. For a moment Kaylee considered going after him. He had been so good to her. Treated her with respect, but still gave her everything that she needed. But he was right. It wasn't love. It was convenient. But Simon. Oh god, Simon. He had heard. He knew she had been sleeping with Jayne. Suddenly Kaylee knew she had to go to him. She had to explain things. For once she had ruined everything.


	8. Happy Ending

Kaylee found Simon in the infirmary staring down at a pile of supplies that needed to be put away. His hands shook but other than that he didn't move. Kaylee stood in the doorway waiting for him to turn around but he never did. After a few moments Kaylee realized Simon was crying. She suddenly felt uncomfortable and cleared her throat to get his attention. Simon sniffed and ran the back of his hand across his nose as he turned to face Kaylee.

"What can I do for you." His voice was ragged and his face full of pain.

"I…Simon, I." Kaylee stumbled on her words, sounding like him. He realized this and smiled weakly.

"You sound like I do after I screw everything up with you."

"With good reason. Simon I've screwed everything up."

"No you haven't. I had no claim to you."

"Yes you did." Simon looked up from the floor where he had been staring.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean from the minute you walked onto this boat you had me. I just got so flustered and tired. And so I gave in. I know I was wrong to but Jayne was there and it was nothing." Kaylee finished weakly. She took up the job of looking down at the floor as Simon leaned back against the counter, still looking at her.

"I wrote you a letter."

"What?" Kaylee looked back up.

"I wrote you a letter telling you how I feel. Months ago. Long before this whole thing happened. I was going to give it to you but I saw you talking to Jayne and then kiss his cheek before going to bed. Were you with him then?"

"God. I can't even remember that. I can tell you no though. I don't kiss someone on the cheek unless I'm feeling affectionate and once we started beddin' one another. Weren't no affection in it. Is that why you…ignored me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. I just figured you'd gotten tired of chasin' a mechanic around and accepted I was below you're class." Kaylee felt venerable telling Simon how she felt, but she knew she had to tell him.

"Oh Kaylee. You are not below my class. If anything I'm below yours for always turning into a bumbling idiot when you talked to me."

"Simon. What did the letter say?"

"I don't remember exactly anymore."

"Guess. And Simon?"

"Yeah."

"Only tell me if you still mean it."

"I love you."

"What?" Kaylee's eyes were brimming with tears.

"That's what the letter said. I love you. That's why I can never talk to you. That's why I'm always running scared. That's why I don't care that you slept with Jayne. As long as you don't love him."

"No…never. I was just…desperation."

"Kaylee…I just. I…I." Kaylee stepped forward and kissed Simon.

"We've got a lot to work out still. But I love you too, Simon. That's what matters." Simon looked into Kaylee's eyes. He leaned back in and kissed her. His kiss was gentle and full of emotion. Kaylee could feel him worshiping her lips with his. His hands gently caressed the skin of her back and cheek. Each touch expressed love and longing. Suddenly Kaylee pulled back from the kiss and buried her face in Simon's shoulder. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

"Kaylee what's wrong." Simon stroked back her hair, worried.

"Its just," Kaylee chocked out between tears, "I've never been kissed like that. You really do love me don't you?" Simon smiled. For once he felt confident.

"Yes, Kaylee. And I always will." With that Simon once more took to kissing Kaylee, an activity he never wanted to cease, not ever planned to.


End file.
